Just Like Playing A Game – Life

Good evening intrepid reader! What’s that? You don’t like long drawn-out introductions like the one I am doing and, by the time you’re reading this, will have done? That really is such a shame…cause you’re gonna have to live with it! Muhuhahaha! Seriously though I really love my drawn out intros…was thinking of doing a talk show on YouTube the other day. Any ideas? Anyway, as usual, I digress into other subjects witch are best left to a later time or, in this case, post. Just a note before I carry on to tell you as to why this post is titled the way it is, I am finally classed as more insane than Sadia and Dijah put together! Here is the Twitter quote:

@Stairhopper just read your blog post… must say you crazier the my and dijah put together lol
#JustSayin
Twitter for Android • 15/08/2011 23:47

Oh yes! Hard, cold evidence! Or is it cold, hard evidence? I never really payed attention to all those 1960′s secret agent films at my Grandma’s… The screen capture of the Twitter message can be found below…sitting smugly at the base…supporting the whole structure of the post like C++ at the base of explorer.exe and Cocoa at the base of finder.app…

Again I stray like a lamb from the fold. So, without further ado, (I’ve always wanted to say that) I present to you the main message of my post:

You, dear reader, are still wondering why my post is entitled ‘Just Like Playing A Game – Life’ aren’t you? Well you’re in luck! Cause I’m about to explain to you why…

I often ponder…scratch that…I ponder too often…yeah that’s better. Anyways. When I ponder all sorts of absurd thing can creep into my mind and those although are often heavily influenced by what I’ve been spending most of my time doing which, in this circumstance, was gaming. Not just any games, though. Oh no I’m far too sophisticated for that. I had been playing Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood most of the time alongside Minecraft and as I was thinking I suddenly had a moment in which I was looking at myself through a third person view…it was kind of scary at first but it soon returned to normal. I then started to think about what life would be like if it actually was a game. Of course many people already think of life as ‘a game with no extra lives’ which is completely true. There are no 1up’s like Mario and no desynchronisation like in Assassin’s Creed. No respawns like in all popular FPS and no Elika in Prince Of Persia. But of course we all know that life isn’t a game. I just wonder what it would be like if we came back from death and had unlimited lives or had some sort of guardian angel who literally couldn’t let us die. Maybe I’m just getting delusional…I don’t know…maybe my 63 no-hit kill streak on AC is getting to my head or maybe it’s my four story house with three level basement on Minecraft that makes me wish it were real life…anywho I’m off this mind bending neurological twisting philosopher boat till my head stops hurting.

The three completely unrelated facts of the day are back:

1) I often want the grass to be blue.

2) I love the cold and dark…but seriously don’t take that as my personality.

3) My sister owns a pink ‘Hello Kitty’ scooter…I often ride it when she’s not at home…

Howdy, reader! Made it this far did you? Congratulations! Don’t worry your efforts will soon be rewarded with a personal blessing and that photo I promised you since the…third paragraph? I’m too lazy to scroll back up so I’ll leave it to you to count. Anyway, young heroes…and heroines…your prize awaits!

Bless your face. It you coughed or sneezed during the reading of this article then bless you.

Peace Off!

Dear Reader

Now listen up, reader. I don’t know what you’re hear for or why you came to my blog but if you’ve already read down to here then either you’re bored and stumbled upon this page by accident or you’re one of my regular peeps who get my posts on the mail. So, to all you new, wannabe readers: Hey there! To read up on me (no I don’t have a Wiki on my life yet) go to the about page to find out about my life background, experiences and interests. It may help you understand some of my posts. To all my regular (subliminal reference to The Regular Show intended) followers: Welcome back! I’ve missed you so much you wouldn’t believe it! I was thinking of going emo. Any thoughts/objections? No, I don’t have nachos, by the way. Anyway, enough of the introductions, let’s sift the determined post readers from the saps who can’t read more than ten lines of HTML code…although you’re not viewing that anyway…If you’ve already read down to here, by the way, then keep going. Good things come to those who wait…and food always comes to those who love to cook (Ratatouille reference intended).

Sap Sifting Lines Approaching!

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So. You made it down here? Impressive! You, dear reader, are obviously not as easily fooled as I thought! I guess you have a bog enough screen to see the entire post anyway. Cheater. Next time I play you in a game of Carcassonne I will show you what it’s like to lose. Anyway, enough with my meaningless drivel…although I am told by certain sources that that’s all I ever speak anyway…let me begin to parse, construe, define, interpret and…oh to hell with the thesaurus I’ll never get through all those words…*sigh*…I’ll just outline my day to you…alright? Well then…what are you waiting for?! Read the next chapter already! I don’t type my day out to have you ignore it and read my meaningless type! See! You’re still reading! Fine. You know what. I’ll just start the paragraph myself!

Today was somewhat interesting…to say the most (no that was not a typo) and, for all those who didn’t deduce the meaning of that backwards phrase…my day was, to put it bluntly, boring until around 9pm. My day started of as usual with the 6am wake-up alarm, breakfast at 10am call and all the motherly nags in-between. A guaranteed headache ensued after the last one. So I spent most of my day indoors going delirious thinking it was Tuesday and even got ready for Pathfinders! I eventually came back to Monday from my trip to the future and realised how little I had done most of the day. I started being productive and updated you guys with a well deserved post as you experienced veteran readers will know and also got some animation done. I also got down to 32 applications! Go me! The pictures are below…but don’t skip! You cant cheat! You’ve got to read the rest of the post first you lazy, good-for-nohing Cheetah! What did I say earlier if you were paying attention?! Good things come to those who wait! Get it in your head! Anyway, fast-forwarding at the speed of light to 9pm: I had an interesting discussion with Sadia and Kadijah over Twitter in which I mostly sat on the sidelines of whilst they talked about beans, which types on beans they were, something about toning and muscles (why does my spell checker correct that to Toni & Guy?!) and various other things of which I refused to take part in, lest I look as insane, unhinged, psychotic and psychopathic as they did…which would forever tarnish my public name. Unfortunately our 14 year-old Kadijah had stayed up past her bedtime and had to go, effectively killing the conversation (she’s known for her brutality) and leaving me and Sadia all alone. Needless to say I decided to write this post at that point and that is what I am (for me) and have (for the reader) doing (for me) and done (for the reader). I have to admit you’re really persistent in reading my post! If you’ve made it this far then go grab a beer and celebrate! Just kidding! Stay here you’re underage. Go get a cookie instead…

I now present to you the three meaningless facts of the day! Whoop!

1) I need new draws!

2) I often play life like I would Assassin’s Creed but with no ‘desynchronisation’ fallback…

3) My deja-vu always revolves around one person since I’ve met them…and from what I can tell and have taken part in during my dreams I think it’s safe to say I have a 90% chance of being married to that person by the time I’m 21.

God-Dangit reader! You weren’t meant to get this far! Didn’t your mother tell you to keep prying eyes off other people information?! That seems highly unlikely if you’re still reading on! I mean, come on! It’s not like I’m sneaking another chapter of meaningless nonsense to wind you up and waste your time down here! Oh no that would be highly unacceptable! Against my own moral code, in fact! Seriously though why are you still here? Go have that beer I told you about…scrap that grab some coffee. I need some too, to be honest. Hey! Don’t get that coffee yet! If you get two make sure you make one straight black coffee with 5 blocks of sugar! Don’t stir it! Yes I know I’m unhealthy having straight black coffee but what can I say? It keeps me awake on important projects for people and whatnot. Anyway it’s about time I closed this post…I’ll kind of do it now…ASAP even…I like that acronym…anyone else like it? Yeah I know it’s too cool to be described! That’s why you’re speechless! Ah I love it when I type to myself and no-one answers back :’) No annoying popups get in the way *happy sniffle*. Serious now though I’m closing the post..so LEAVE!

In the famous words of T.T:

Bless your face. If you coughed or sneezed during the reading of this article then bless you.

Peace Off!